The Same Mistake
by wastedaddiction
Summary: All of Morinaga's efforts were thrown back in his face as he argued with Senpai. He ran away, making the decision to leave, only to find somebody had gon e after him.
1. Morinaga's Decision

The characters belong to Takanaga Hinako.

chapter 5 of volume 7 made me pissed. Souichi hurt Morinaga so much. Morinaga finally got the message of what Souichi was saying the whole time. i feel like the only person who actually had it together was Masaki! Gah! SO as a result of my anger, i wrote this. Its kinda a quick overview of what happened in Morinaga's eyes.

* * *

Senpai wasn't jealous—never was.

He wasn't angry at the thought of Masaki stealing him away; he just didn't want him to get tangled in that crap again. But it wasn't like he could just leave Masaki alone when they never really had the chance to say goodbye.

Senpai never wanted sex, nor did he want Morinaga's heart, despite the fact that he already had both.

It wasn't fair. Why did he lead him on? When their bodies were joined together it was like nothing else. And Senpai did everything he could to keep Morinaga by his side. Didn't that mean something? Why did he have to fall for this so persistently straight man? Why was he forced to feign this friendship for so long when friendship wasn't even close to what he wanted?

And what about the job offer? He had told the professor that he wanted the job, but still needed a little more time to think about it. He needed more time to ask Senpai's opinion. But suddenly, Senpai was screaming in his face about it, so angry about keeping it from him, angry about having to find out from someone else. It wasn't like he had intentionally hid it from him! But Senpai didn't listen, didn't want the extra support because he could handle it himself. All Morinaga wanted was something to connect them, but Senpai had made it sound so ugly…

And when he had admitted to wanting to be life partners—something he could only dream of telling him before—Senpai threw that back in his face too! Did real partners lie? Did real partners keep important information from each other? No! And while Morinaga should have been nearly ecstatic about the fact that Senpai wasn't yelling about how he wasn't a homo, he was way too distracted by the sound of his heart breaking.

It sounded a lot like Senpai's voice.

The final straw broke when he told him that he never wanted the sex. That wasn't true, was it? Sure, he forced him in the beginning, but it grew into something else didn't it? Senpai need him that way, didn't he? What about love hotel, or after the fire, or just a few nights ago when a simple kiss led to a morning of pleasure? He wanted it those times didn't he?

The proof was in those semi-healed scratches etched into his back. They were a reminder that Senpai was perfectly capable of holding him, wanting him... Truthfully, they were a lot like the man who gave them—painful, but he wanted them there.

"Get a hold of your love filled brain" he had said.

The scream had echoed throughout the apartment as he remained silent. His chest hurt, his chin trembled, and there was that huge lump of something terrible lodged in his throat. He wasn't going to cry in front of Senpai, wasn't going to give him that satisfaction—or any more satisfaction at all. With the pain finally seeping in, he turned and left to find Masaki's shocked face only a few feet away. But he couldn't handle that right now. It was already too much.

Finding an empty park, he slumped down onto a bench and let the tears fall and the sobs rattle his body. The illusion was shattered. There was no love in Senpai's heart. He had made it all up. Maybe he really did need to get a hold of his love filled brain.

He had made the same mistake. He had fallen in love with someone who never loved him back.

Well, he wasn't going to make that mistake again.

"Why bother with love and all that jazz?" It only hurt. It always hurt.

Living with Senpai was painful before, only because he constantly had to hold back—but it was what he wanted. It was better than any other option. But living there now, when he knew he would never win his heart? That would be unbearable. He could not stay. He would leave tomorrow.

As the decision solidified in his head, he heard the steady footsteps, the broken breath. He looked up into that familiar face, heard that familiar voice call his name. It wasn't who he expected.

"There you are..."


	2. Souichi's Conclusion

Characters belong to Takanaga Hinako

whoooo~ well, i was going to make this a oneshot, but i got to writing and well...this was born o_o i also started on Masaki's POV, for anyone who doesnt hate him too much to read it.

Sorry about the end, it got a little smooshed up in there, but believe me, there is an actual plot. thats right! surprise! its going somewhere! Anyway~I believe Souichi is pissed at Masaki (because who wouldnt be-the returning ex-lover of your current relationship showing up in your house uninvited to point out your flaws and give you unwanted pointers on how to handle your relationship? no thank you.) so read, enjoy(?) and tell me what you think?

* * *

Who the hell did he think he was?

This son of a bitch who just waltzed into the apartment and started bad mouthing him. Full of contradictions? He should talk.

Who the hell did he think he was?

This idiot who put himself up on a pedestal, when he had made the same mistake! It wasn't like he could make Morinaga happy anymore! He had his chance, and wasted it. The only reason Morinaga even _believed_ in love anymore was because of him.

Who the hell did he think he was?

This bastard that had lied to Morinaga years before, crushed him, left him by slashing his wrist. Was he too much of a coward to face him himself? He'd rather go through the physical pain, the puddles of blood, the rush to the emergency room than just talk it out with his past lover?

Souichi slumped back against the counter. He knew the feeling. He had seen Morinaga's hurt face before. This wasn't the first time he had seen the tears either, but _that _time his kouhai had stood there long enough, stunned by the action, for him to wipe those tears away. The pain in his eyes—despite the fact that it was over something so simple like gay acceptance—was too much. Despite himself, Souichi could understand why Masaki might want to run away. He knew that had he been in the same situation, he, the proud and justified Souichi Tatsumi, wouldn't be able to face him.

Those expressions that Morinaga make…his face is just too….

Morinaga….

Pain and guilt were starting to swell in his chest. He needed a smoke or a beer to calm his nerves, but couldn't bring himself to move. That idiot made him so confused! He wasn't gay! And while he understood that his body _would_ react to Morinaga in that way, he couldn't possibly understand _why_. Why was it so easy to live with this man when he knew what it implied? Why was it so hard to have him gone, even now? Why, why, why?

Every word that came out of Masaki's mouth felt like a personal insult, a slap to the face. Now he was telling him to go after the idiot, to hold him—and what apologize? Why on earth would he go after him when it wasn't his fault? After all Morinaga had done time and time again, he wanted Souichi to run after him? Yeah. _Right_. _That _was going to happen.

And what the hell was up with that stupid job offer. He was too mad to ask if he took it or not. It was like Morinaga was saying that he didn't trust in Souichi's abilities to support himself. Hadn't he proved that he could not only support himself, but his little siblings too? But something that bastard said…something about Morinaga seriously considering a future with him. Hadn't Morinaga said "life partners"? _He wasn't gay! _What was he going to have to do to get that through his thick skull? And besides, how could he even consider saying something like that when he had just been caught red-handed, lying and cheating—

Cheating? No, he wasn't cheating. Cheating would imply they were together. But why did it feel like that's what it was? The idiot even said he didn't feel guilty about it, and that had made him so angry. He had tried to place his anger on the job, but how could he? He didn't feel bad about cheating, even if that wasn't what it was?

The idea of Morinaga with another man, Masaki to be precise, swished around in his head. He didn't like the feel of it. Sure, he knew Morinaga had other partners before him—he had admitted it—but there was no way he could imagine his Morinaga doing the same things he did to him with countless others. No. No way.

Irritation was starting to override the guilt. That promiscuous idiot! He's slept with other people. Souichi knew that. But suddenly, the fact that Morinaga and Masaki had—no! And now that guy was going to go "console him"? Like hell he was! That bastard was the person who screwed him up in the first place! If it wasn't for Masaki, Morinaga probably wouldn't be here. He wouldn't be in this mess at all.

The thought caused a hollow feeling in Souichi's chest. It was enough to get him moving out the door and down the stairs.

Masaki…what kind of idiot returns after making such a mess of someone's life. He can't make him happy anymore, emotionally or physically. Souichi gritted his teeth. That's right; Masaki was probably here to try to win Morinaga back. He probably wanted to get in his pants since he missed out the first time. Maybe Masaki actually did love him. Of course he did. How could someone _not_ love Morinaga?

Souichi let that thought burn and smolder in his head as he went looking for the source of his troubles.


	3. Masaki's Confession

All characters belong to Takanaga Hinako

All right! Its out! The Same Mistake Chapter 3! whoo~

Took a while to write this, but I finally got it. Sorry about the OOC-ness of Morinaga. I know he would handle the situation differently, instead of breaking down into tears. I even considered scraping this, because they already came out with the next chapter, but I (obviously) decided to keep going, just for those who were curious where this was gunna go.

I actually had to go back and find all of the 'Morinagas' and change them to 'Tetsuhiros. Im so used to writing it that way -_-

And Im working on Just a Suggestion right now. After that, I think I'll finish up on Let Me Go and start messing around with Phantom Needs (if you have no idea what Im talking about, feel free to visit my profile-there's a list of stories Im working on or planning to start)

Oh, and by the way, I had to submit this chapter using my phone because my laptop charger broke again about an hour ago, and I had, like, 15 minutes of battery left. So sorry for grammar mistakes and junk. Take a moment and celebrate phone internet :D

All right, this author's rant is now over.

Please enjoy!

And y'all know I love me my reviews! Tell me what you think-I can handle criticism.

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Behind his cool façade, Masaki was boiling.

Talking to that man, to Tetsuhiro's current lover or whatever he was, made him furious. He didn't listen. It seemed he knew what had happened between them, and yet he was just going to let Tetsuhiro walk out. The heartless little—

Seeing Tetsuhiro, so hurt, just for that brief second before he dashed out the door made something snap inside Masaki. The pain of slashing his wrist, waking up from a year long coma, not seeing either of the brothers he had come to love so much again—Tetsuhiro's pained face brought all of that rushing in. Masaki considered himself a good guy (sometimes) and wasn't about to let Tetsuhiro get his heart broken again. It was already too late to prevent the damage, but the least he could do was bandage it and give it a kiss.

He had planned to tell the man fuming in the kitchen to go after him, make him see reason, then later on he would call Tetsuhiro and wish him luck and apologize about the whole thing. But that guy was yelling at him too! All the while, Masaki was wondering how Tetsuhiro put up with it this whole time. How could he love _this_ man? It obviously wasn't because of his looks. He could do better. Seemed like they've had problems for a while now, and this was just the breaking point. Patience was one of Tetsuhiro's strong suits, but it wasn't unlimited.

The man was making a huge mistake. Breaking Tetsuhiro's heart could be the biggest mistake of his life, like it was for him. But seeing as he didn't seem willing to swallow his pride, Masaki decided maybe_ he_ should go. Maybe it wasn't good for him to be around this man anyways. Maybe he could convince Tetsuhiro to find someone who wasn't going to abuse him like this. With a sigh, he left, Tetsuhiro's senpai yelling after him.

It didn't take long to find Tetsuhiro. Ever since he was little, he would stray towards rather deserted public places, like old convenience stores or train stations. Masaki could remember how many times he found him sitting on the tracks after an argument with a friend. He was always there to comfort him. Today was no exception.

Tetsuhiro was on a park bench, hunched over, his head in his hands. Relief flooded Masaki, but he tried not to show it. It was hard. For years, he was forced to shut his concern for the younger man up inside, never letting it take a breath. But now, when he was so close, and so hurt…

"Tetsuhiro!"

Masaki had been running and slowed when he saw the familiar crumpled form. He walked quickly over, and stood in front of him.

"There you are…"

Tetsuhiro looked up and Masaki stifled a gasp. His eyes were red but his face was pale except for the splotches on his cheeks and his swollen lips. There were tear stains running down his face and his hands were shaking badly. He croaked out a quiet greeting and let his gaze shift back to the ground. Suddenly, anger was surging through Masaki again. He was furious at that man who had let Tetsuhiro fall into this state. He didn't care how well they knew each other—anyone who was actually _willing_ to hurt him like this—

"I got a job offer…"

Masaki blinked. He didn't expect him to talk. Whenever he was truly upset, Tetsuhiro would remain quiet until the tears had dried—that was why after he had confessed his feelings for Kunihiro, they never talked again until now. Things really did change.

"It's a good one," he murmured. "OB Pharmaceuticals."

"Tetsuhiro…"

"I can't stay in the lab forever. Especially not with Sen—"he couldn't even finish, couldn't even say his name. "I have to leave. Staying would be…" He looked up suddenly. "What hotel are you staying in again? Maybe I could stay there tonight?"

"You're not going back?" That wasn't like him. Masaki thought he would need more convincing.

Tetsuhiro just stared quietly for a minute, and then looked back down. He was going to cry again. Masaki felt his heart squeeze painfully and he resisted the urge to pull the younger man into a hug. That might just make things worse. What if his senpai actually did come looking for him and found them like that? The last thing they needed was_ another_ misunderstanding. "I don't see how I can. Senpai…he's way too angry at me. This time I really screwed up. And besides, it would hurt too much. I don't want to make things uncomfortable for him either. He probably doesn't want me there."

That tore it. Masaki dropped down next to him on the bench and grabbed his shoulders. "Tetsuhiro, stop it. You can't keep being so selfless! You're going to keep getting hurt," Memories came rushing back again. The image of Tetsuhiro moving protectively in front of him while Kunihiro screamed flashed like neon sign in his head. "Why are you trying to defend him, especially after he yelled at you like that?"

Tetsuhiro swallowed visibly. He didn't answer. He couldn't. All of this, everything, it was too much.

Masaki couldn't understand. Tetsuhiro had changed so much since they were kids. His heart was always so strong and brave. Why was he afraid now? He was always so honest and sincere. Why was he lying to himself? It was like he was a different person now because he had lost the old one. He had surrendered the Tetsuhiro he adored when he told him that Kunihiro was who he loved.

And then again, maybe things hadn't changed so much. Tetsuhiro had stood there, barely trying to defend himself, taking the blame for everything, and now he was defending his cruel senpai. Masaki thought about what he was going to say for a long time before he said it.

"Maybe," he started, "you should take a break from him."

Tetsuhiro's eyes grew wide, but before he could say anything, Masaki continued. "It's not healthy for you to be around a guy like that for so long. You said you've known him for about five years now, right? I'm guessing he's been like this. You don't just get _that_ angry out of the blue, you know. A break would be good for you. You can think about your relationship, and maybe you can…"

"Move on?" Tetsuhiro murmured, looking Masaki straight in the eye. He wasn't going to say that. He was going to say "make things better" If Tetsuhiro was going to move on he would have done it by now.

"Actually, I've been thinking about that-love and its limitations. I would do anything for Senpai. I quit school once because I didn't want him to feel bad." Masaki gasped, but it wasn't like he didn't believe it. Tetsuhiro always had been dedicated. "Before our relationship started, I was thinking about giving up on him. I mean, one-sided love can't go on forever can it? Does love have an expiration date? Does it?"

That last question seemed to be directed at Masaki. Can love expire after so many years? He thought about how many years he was in love with Kunihiro without telling him. The man only found out recently, and that was a fluke. Kunihiro had found him at work (he was even more attractive as an adult) and wanted to get to know him again. In the end, Masaki made another bad choice and ended up raping him. But he didn't leave. He didn't report him to the police. Instead he kissed him, and frequently came to pester him after that. Despite himself, despite everything, Masaki was falling in love with him again. Or rather, he was discovering the love that had sat dormant and dusty for years. Did love have an expiration date?

"No." Masaki said with a soft smile. "Of course it doesn't. True love never expires. That's why you see old couples holding hands on park benches and smiling at each other. That's why you see childhood friends growing up and getting married. All love goes through troubles, but if its real, then in the end..." Masaki was thinking now about how every night, Kunihiro stopped by after work to visit the bar. He would sit there forever waiting for him to get off work. Even his other coworkers were getting to know him since he came so often. It was amazing. They hadn't seen each other in years. The second he slashed his wrist, it was like he was officially ending everything, including their friendship. He truly loved Kunihiro, but it felt as if he had left him behind. Now it felt like after all these years, after finding him again, Kunihiro had come back for him. "…you can count on it to find its way through anything."

Tetsuhiro was staring at him. He didn't know if he believed that. "Yeah, but both of those people are in love with each other, and obviously Senpai isn't in love with me. He never was. I was the only one thinking that something could come from this. I guess I was wrong. How stupid." He sighed. "You're right, Masaki-san. Being around Senpai isn't healthy. Heh, I bet I have gray hairs from stressing over him so much. I think that maybe…it's time to let go." His voice cracked on the last word. Once again, tears rolled down his cheek. Tetsuhiro wasn't a weakling—of course he wasn't!—but he as so hurt now. It was obvious that if his senpai was going to come looking for him, he would have done it by now, so Masaki placed a hand on his cheek and wiped a tear away with this thumb.

"Tetsuhiro," he whispered. "I didn't mean give up on him. I just meant take a break from all the pain he's putting you through."

He shook his head. "Even if I took a break, I would never be able to go back to him ever again. Just like I wasn't able to find you again." Tetsuhiro didn't look at his old friend. He didn't see the spasm of pain flicker across his face. Ever since Masaki woke up from his coma, he's been worried about Tetsuhiro. He never saw him, never heard from him, and didn't dare ask of him without having his face slapped. Going on day after day without that cheerful voice calling his name with so much affection was hard enough. But what was worse, was that he never knew what happened to him until he ran into his brother. He had several ulcers with Tetsuhiro's name on them. He was worried, and extremely sorry that things had turned out that way. He would have tried to stop the rumors had he been conscious.

When Kunihiro had handed him that piece of paper with his address on in, he almost threw it away. In his mind, Tetsuhiro was still a teenager. He was still wearing that school uniform, that short haircut, and that hurt face. In his mind, Tetsuhiro still hated him. Why show up and make him relive that? But somehow, on an impulse, he found himself on his doorstep, asking for forgiveness. And somehow, by some cosmic miracle, he had gotten it. Tetsuhiro had been worried about him too. Wasn't that amazing?

And now, Masaki pitied Tetsuhiro's lover. That man was going to have to go through the rest of his life, forever wondering about him, permanently regretting breaking his heart, continuously thinking about the one that got away—the one that really mattered. Once you discover your need for him, it's hard to let him go. Even though he hated that man, at the moment, he felt sorry that he might have to go on Tetsuhiro-less. Poor guy.

"But it seems like you really love this guy. I don't think you should just break up over an argument. He was mad and said some things he didn't mean. I'm sure he really does love you, he's just too embarrassed to admit it."

Tetsuhiro laughed humorlessly. "No, he meant it. It's what he's been saying this whole time. I just haven't been listening. I thought that because he didn't hate me, he must love me. Which is stupid, because I all of all people should know how unlovable I am." His voice got thick near the end. He got up off the bench and turned his back towards Masaki. "I should've known."

_ Unlovable? _

"Tetsuhiro…" Masaki said softly, "is that what you think? That you're unlovable? That's not true." He walked over towards Tetsuhiro and turned him around. Tears were pouring down his cheeks, and when he saw Masaki's shocked expression, his own face crumpled as he cried.

_Oh, no_! Masaki thought with half surprise, half pity. Suddenly, Tetsuhiro was fourteen and his makeshift lover again. He quickly wrapped his arms around him and let him sob on his shoulder. "Why is it," he gasped between sobs, "that everyone I love never loves me back?"

Masaki couldn't stop the words—they just flew from his need to calm the younger man down. "You're not unlovable! Your parents love you, your brother loves you, and I—"he felt Tetsuhiro pause and grow quiet underneath him, but he kept going, "In a way," he whispered softly, then pronounced the rest loudly. "I love you."

A loud gasp came from behind them.

They both whirled around to see the figure standing under the streetlight, his shock quickly turning into fury. Neither of them had heard his approach. Suddenly, he was walking towards the two, mad as hell.

"Masaki," Tetsuhiro's senpai said between closed teeth. "I swore if I ever saw your face again-"

"Senpai—"Tetsuhiro gasped. But he was ignored. His senpai was now standing less than a few feet away, swiftly passing Tetsuhiro and walking up to Masaki. Before either of them could stop him, he pulled back his arm and let his fist fly straight towards his face.

The crack echoed through the empty night.


End file.
